Pushing Forward.

Exactly like the title says; I am pushing forward. Past it all, the good, the bad, the UGLY. I have three drafts, two about certain people, and ONE about my last three months. Non of those will not be published. WHY? Simply because, they do not matter. I vented, and truthfully, I do not think they are worth my damn time, LOL. Sorry, kinda. Nah. I will say, thank you, thank you to the people who tried to bring me down, thank you for all the negativity people have show me, thank you for stalking me, LOL not really but thank you for making me realize people are legit crazy, NO MATTER what you do, even if it is NOTHING, people will go out of their way to hurt you. Ruin things that are out of their control. OH WELL. All I have to say is thank you.

I am naturally a smart ass, sarcastic, but I mean all of those damn thank yous, BECAUSE without even knowing it, you helped me build myself, you helped me come out of a dark place and love myself, you made me see the bad in the world, which made me remember my life with my boys is not that bad, even on the horrible days. I have had so many things happen that should have completely broken me; came close I will not deny that. I was NOT okay for a long time, fuck I still don’t feel 110% like myself, or the version of myself I am growing into; but I know these SHIT last three months has gotten me where I am now, and I now know that I WILL be okay, better then okay.

People lying about normal people, probably sets them back for a while; I am fucking used to it, I don’t post everything for a reason, yet people still make up shit in their OWN heads, IT MUST BE TRUE, and BAM, I am getting called this, that. HAHA. Never gets old, stings for the first couple seconds, words still hurt, true or not. BUT I just laugh now, I will never not attempt something, I am at peace with my past, who I was, what I have been through to become who I am; I grew up years ago, it is a damn shame certain people couldn’t do the same; or maybe they aren’t there yet, young ass boys thinking they are ready to be men, just going around destroying women. It is a sick ass cycle. I have decided to give the fuck up, yup.

I am obviously kidding; LOL, But I really do not mind being on my own, most of the time, yes I have friends, but I mean emotionally alone, I needed to be emotionally alone for a while, still do. Personal reasons at this point, I still have some work to do on myself, which is kind of the point of the caption, I don’t want to post a blog about the bad that has happened lately just to keep re reading it, I don’t want to sit here and me said, or anxious anymore, over stupid fucking people. It is not worth my sanity or my mental health. SAYING NO TO BAD VIBES. I am just trying to make my house pretty, my hair grow, make a garden, teach my kids things that will help them in life, find my happiness again. My friends have been my biggest support system and I wouldn’t have it any other way. through the good, bad and ugly. they are there. For me and my kids. I really have no time to react to peoples bullshit, nor want actually.

I remember this outgoing, adventurous, energetic women. I miss her, but I know she can be better with all of the knowledge and experience she has now.

-S

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